(no subject)

smile, because the worst is over.




i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. & yes, trust me more than i can handle. i don't think i've done this much thinking since PSATs well no, what am i talking about? PSATs were a peice of cake, ok, i haven't done this much thinking since exams.. well, no, hm i don't
think i've ever put much thought into anything really. well, ANYWAY. let's start over, i've been thinking. and what i have come up with is that i am selfish. you are selfish. we are all selfish human beings. we want joffrey, we want him back, we want his hug, or his phone call or for him to sing a particular song to us once more. well, it isn't going to happen and i'll tell you why.. joffrey is in heaven. i think many of us have lost the concept of what being a christian is and what happens after you die. you go to heaven. heaven as in paradise, luxury, everything and anything you've ever wanted and more. he's experiencing more peace, more well being, more love than he ever has here and ever would have. i've been crying and crying for 4 days straight. i'd be crying right now if i wasn't so emotionally drained. i've told some 'i'm doing alright' and told others 'i'm horrible' but the point is religion is not important. all religion gets you is endless feuds over whose it better. what's important is a relationship, a healthy relationship. which is what i have with my lord, my savior, my creator. sometimes all it takes to help someone understand is letting them know how much God loves them. i don't care if they don't believe in a God or don't believe in anything other than themselves, God loves them and He loves you. i must admit, i'm hurt and upset. not upset with God, not upset with joff but upset with myself. i've been always told and have always passed on 'live everyday as if it were your last, love one another, life is too short' but that's life, sometimes it takes the loss of a loved one to realize what you have and what you don't. now, it's important you all know i loved joff, i loved him like a brother, like a best friend, and i respected him and idolized him with all i had. but it's important to understand where he is, and how he got there. if i had the power to bring him back, sure selfishly i'd want to but selflessly i wouldn't. i'm glad for joffrey and all the time i was blessed with him. i'm glad for all the memories even if they seep with tears through my eyes. i'm glad for you and everything you've been to me. and now, it's up to me as well as it's up to you, to help his legacy grow. spread your testimony, shout it at the top of your lungs. joffrey showed us many beautiful things about life but i don't think he realized how great it was with him in it. i love him, and i miss him but i'm ready to move on. i'm ready to make changes, instead of feeling sorry for myself. i was standing at the end of the bridge before joffrey's death, he pushed me off. if you think you heard too much from me before, it's only begun. i'm here for any and all of you, and i hope i get the same returned. because i don't care who you are, you could be jay leno, i just like his name (haha) you are nothing without Christ. i'm sorry it's taken me this long to realize but i'm thankful because i know i can do everything and anything through Him. 

JOHN 14:6
..."Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me"

don't frown because it's gone, smile because it happened.

  • Current Music
    Laser Breakdancing Beat (joff's crazy techno song)

25 days ♥

Sweet Sixteen.. I was planning on having a formal dinner with my closest friends but my dad freaking opposed the idea.
What the crap? He said it's just your sixteenth year of life, no big deal but i'll fly you to new york to see your favorite broadway show.
LIKE THAT'S NO BIG DEAL?! I'VE ALWAYSSSSS WANTED TO GO TO NYC. I'm pretty stoked!!! 
I haven't a clue what I am doing tomorrow. Supposedly I got VIP tickets to the firework show at the beach.
& Supposedly there are a few 'good' parties & supposedlyyyy I am supposed to work.. hah! 
Faith's firework show was good, fun. Thanks Jess for your oh so wonderful name tag. It is somewhere in my washer machine.
I hate clowns, oh so veryyyyy much. Who the crap thought of hosting clowns as a great childhood memory at a church event.
I just about almost peed myself. I love my friends. I have an appointment with an agent the day after tomorrow, hopefully this one will be better than the others.
Can't wait until acting this upcoming year. That will be all.
  • Current Music
    Lindsay Quit Lollygagging- Chiodos (favorite song)

this boy & i kind of have a thing..

i definitely went hardcore tubing today,
when i mean hardcore i mean, body flying & hanging on by the pinkie.
gosh, when did i get to be so amazing?
i don't know but today has been very eventful,
got some pretty heart-warming news (haha)
going wake boarding soon..
late night bowling later..
give me a call =)

  • Current Music
    Lust A Prima Vista- The Spill Canvas

chyeah no subject!

I'm really not going to lie, I've been doing pretty peachy with this whole update often deal.
Though, can't say I've been updating with big words and over exaggerated descriptions/thoughts.
Today was eventful, going out tonight, that's always nice.
My love for the beach and tan lines just proves me to be a true Florida cracker!
Jana Belanger is the cutest red head ever because she involves me in her little updates; oh
and can't forget Ms. Kerissa Kow, but she doesn't have red hair, she's jamasian.
ONE MONTH UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY (!!!)
So, leave me some extra sweet comments because you're fetch like that!
I'm out like sliced bread.. I know it doesn't make sense but it makes me happy
Love Peace & Happiness, foo's!

  • Current Music
    Day Late Friend